Free Time Diaries: Caitlin Neer
"I bought a huge container of sea salt and haven't looked back since."
Welcome back to Free Time Diaries, a series where I talk to people about how they spend their leisure time. You can find previous installments here.
A good meal kit is my dream. Please send me the exact ingredients I need, plus a step-by-step guide with pictures. If I'm going to be in the kitchen, I need you to hold my hand throughout the process. Anyone who's ever come over for dinner can attest to the fact that my husband is the chef in the relationship. That’s one reason I'm excited to welcome Caitlin Neer to the newsletter — I’ve long admired their top-notch cooking skills. If you want inspiration for your next meal, this edition is a treat. Be warned: the pictures may have you drooling.
AYANA: Tell me how you discovered the thing you like to do in your spare time. How and when did you fall in love?
CAITLIN: I grew up with working parents who greatly disliked cooking, so it was never on my radar as something more than a never-ending chore. In my mid-20s, I moved to Massachusetts for a new job that I ended up hating, went through a difficult breakup, and had no social network in my new area. I started seeing a therapist for depression and she recommended that I learn to cook simply as a way to fill long, lonely hours. I would look up a random recipe every day at work, stop at the grocery store for ingredients on my way home, and then try out the recipe. It gave me something to focus on that took up a lot of time initially and it had the added benefit of helping me feed myself when I was struggling with basic care tasks.
At first, I approached it like homework and would report back to my therapist with stats on how many meals I cooked. As I got a little more competent, I found I looked forward to the routine of it. Eventually it evolved into an outlet to experiment and explore the world in a different way. I wanted to learn more technique but wasn’t ready to jump into taking classes, so I sought out books and other media. Salt Fat Acid Heat by Samin Nosrat was the book that opened my view to cooking as joyful, fun, and challenging. As soon as I finished reading it, I bought a huge container of sea salt and haven’t looked back since.
AYANA: One of the biggest struggles I hear about hobbies (including from myself!) is that there aren't enough hours in the day. Can you share how you find the time and motivation?
CAITLIN: The biggest advantage to cooking as a hobby is the fact that we must eat every day anyway! To be honest, I often don’t think of it as a hobby because food is a necessity. I think part of the appeal for me is that it feels productive, particularly now that I get to use it to nourish my wife as well as myself.
Meal planning and prepping ahead of time makes it much easier for me to find enjoyment in throwing together dinner on busy weeknights. I clean and prep all my produce as soon as I get home from the supermarket so that when it’s time to cook, I’m ready to simply toss things into a pan. That takes away much of the burden that most people seem to hate about cooking.
Cooking for others and seeing their enjoyment in the final product motivates me for sure. My wife is currently pregnant, and I’ve found that making sure she (and baby) are eating well has added a whole new level of motivation for me. I can’t wait until my child can eat real food and I can share the joy of cooking and eating with them.
AYANA: What's one thing you love about your hobby? Feel free to share more than one if there are several!
CAITLIN: Sharing it with others is my favorite part. Gathering around food is foundational to many peoples’ cultures. I love getting to nourish people, particularly if I can make something that provides comfort or invokes memories for them. It has given me a way to connect with people in ways that I never expected.
Cooking has opened the door to other hobbies for me. I started a vegetable garden so that I could cook with homegrown ingredients, but I also have fallen in love with the process of gardening. I also have gotten really interested in the cultural and historical aspects of food, which has led me to watching documentaries and researching the history of ingredients or techniques, as well as sparked an interest in fine dining and other unique dining experiences.
AYANA: Do you monetize, or is it strictly for fun?
CAITLIN: Currently, it’s strictly for fun. I’ve never had an interest in selling products and I think it would take away much of the joy for me. I recently started a separate Instagram account focused on food because so many of my friends and family would interact with my food posts and I wanted a place to curate my food experiences. I doubt I’ll ever actively try to expand my following to monetize it in the future.
However, I have a background in academia and love teaching others and designing learning experiences. I love when people comment on my food photos and ask for the recipe or how I made something. In the future, I could see myself offering small cooking or meal prep classes to help home cooks get more comfortable in the kitchen.
AYANA: Any words of advice for someone who wants to start?
CAITLIN: I know that so many people don’t find cooking enjoyable because it’s a never-ending task and requires tons of mental energy, particularly when juggling individual family members’ preferences and busy schedules. The prep work is usually the biggest burden, so I always recommend taking the shortcuts if you find it frustrating and time-consuming. Buy the pre-cut produce and keep easy, pre-cooked proteins like meatballs in the freezer to toss in!
Learning some basic knife skills and doing prep ahead of time has been a game changer for me. I also researched what ingredients and meals freeze well so I can make big batches when I’m in the mood to cook and simply pull out a meal on a busy weeknight. I highly recommend getting some Souper Cubes to freeze portions easily! I was able to make 2 months of homemade meals for my wife to enjoy while I’m traveling for work.
My biggest piece of advice is to be willing to experiment! When I was starting out, I always told myself that if it turned out terribly, I could always have a bowl of cereal for dinner and try again tomorrow. That mindset helped me try new recipes or ingredients I wasn’t sure I’d like.
You can follow Caitlin on Instagram @caitlinneerkitchen.
Have an interesting hobby you want to share? Shoot me a note at hello@ayanalage.com.
Cailtin is always inspiring me to cook more!! Love this.