This hits closer to home than I want to admit. Somehow I simultaneously crave words of affirmation and don’t believe them when they come. I don’t give empty compliments … why on earth do I think everyone else is? Bless these men who love women like us - they are so patient in the hard work of consistently convincing us we are a delight.
my therapist encouraged me to name the negative voice in my head so when I recognize her I can tell that B to shut up! It also creates some separation and reinforces that the voice is not my own. <3
Such a thoughtful article Ayana, I think so many of us struggle with compliments about ourselves. I think your idea about taking in the compliment and sitting with it a while rather than reacting to it is a really good idea! And as someone who is basically a stranger on the Internet, may I say that that whole outfit in the photo looks fire, including the pants (and I say this as someone who has some body issues around her stomach area). Please take this compliment in and sit with it awhile 🙂
This really resonates with me. Thank you for sharing these thoughts and insights. I often wonder why I choose to ruminate over any small unkindness and toss aside any compliment. Going forward I think I will try to be as kind to myself as I am to others.
This hits so close to home, especially this part! "The only people I truly believe are the ones who don’t like me very much."
I do the same with my boyfriend. I am not happy with how I look right now and he's so complimentary and I shut him right down (and then hate myself for it). Gahhhhh we all need to be nicer to ourselves. (
I really felt this post. Thank you for your vulnerability. It's really hard admitting things about ourselves that cause us issues. Daily affirmations have helped me see myself in a more beautiful light-believing the compliments I get from people. I used to struggle with when people would say I am a great mom. I wouldn't believe them! I'd brush it off and admit to how hard it was and how I was just trying my best. Writing out "I am a good mom" or "I am the right mom for my child" started leading me to believe that I am a good mom. Now, I truly believe it when someone tells me that. I say Thank you now. I will always work towards it, but that's with all things in life!
This hits closer to home than I want to admit. Somehow I simultaneously crave words of affirmation and don’t believe them when they come. I don’t give empty compliments … why on earth do I think everyone else is? Bless these men who love women like us - they are so patient in the hard work of consistently convincing us we are a delight.
It is such a struggle! I'm not glad you can relate, but it's comforting that I'm not alone in it.
loved this 💘
Thank you so, so much for reading!
my therapist encouraged me to name the negative voice in my head so when I recognize her I can tell that B to shut up! It also creates some separation and reinforces that the voice is not my own. <3
Stealing this!
Such a thoughtful article Ayana, I think so many of us struggle with compliments about ourselves. I think your idea about taking in the compliment and sitting with it a while rather than reacting to it is a really good idea! And as someone who is basically a stranger on the Internet, may I say that that whole outfit in the photo looks fire, including the pants (and I say this as someone who has some body issues around her stomach area). Please take this compliment in and sit with it awhile 🙂
Ah, you are too kind! Thank you so much, Patty.
Incredibly relatable.
<3 you're the best
Felt so seen by this, Ayana. Thank you for writing this.
Erica! Thank you so much for reading. Means more than you know.
This really resonates with me. Thank you for sharing these thoughts and insights. I often wonder why I choose to ruminate over any small unkindness and toss aside any compliment. Going forward I think I will try to be as kind to myself as I am to others.
Right there with you!
This hits so close to home, especially this part! "The only people I truly believe are the ones who don’t like me very much."
I do the same with my boyfriend. I am not happy with how I look right now and he's so complimentary and I shut him right down (and then hate myself for it). Gahhhhh we all need to be nicer to ourselves. (
Yes! Agree so hard with your last sentence. And it's so much harder when we aren't happy with our appearances.
I really felt this post. Thank you for your vulnerability. It's really hard admitting things about ourselves that cause us issues. Daily affirmations have helped me see myself in a more beautiful light-believing the compliments I get from people. I used to struggle with when people would say I am a great mom. I wouldn't believe them! I'd brush it off and admit to how hard it was and how I was just trying my best. Writing out "I am a good mom" or "I am the right mom for my child" started leading me to believe that I am a good mom. Now, I truly believe it when someone tells me that. I say Thank you now. I will always work towards it, but that's with all things in life!
I struggle to keep up with affirmations, but you're convincing me to give it another shot!
Loved this one, Ayana. I am the exact same way!
Thank you, Katie!