This part: “Instead, I appreciate them as a time capsule, a reminder of what I once was. I don’t have any interest in returning, and I don’t have to. I have no choice but to make room for my previous convictions, misguided as they may have been. As much as I’d love to forget sometimes, there are inescapable signs.” 😮💨 As someone with a Bible verse tattoo, this really hits. As complicated as it feels to reckon with my former self, this feels like such a healthy reframe. Thank you, Ayana 💜
This is really lovely, Ayana. It resonates so much. The butterfly on my foot as a symbol of my being a “new creation in Christ” felt like it would always be timeless. It’s a reflection that we never expect things that feel permanent to change, so making them actually permanent doesn’t feel like much of a stretch. It’s sort of hopeful, though, when I really think about it, to remind myself that this means that the me 10 years from now won’t be the same, either. It’s exciting to daydream about who she might be.
I often think about how sure I was of my beliefs when I was a teenager and in my 20s. I often wish for that to be the case now in my early 40s. After reading this, maybe that assuredness is a gift of youth. It helps us foster independence and bravery as we leave home. And maybe nuance is a gift of adulthood as we are learning to be gentle with ourselves and others. Thank you for always making me think 💜
“Life is much easier when you’re sure of something. Certainty is a gift. Until it all comes crashing down.”
Gosh, I feel this in my bones. I loved reading this. Thank you for sharing it.
Reminds me of Chris Llewellyn’s song ‘Naive’ - worth a listen if you haven’t heard it.
Going to listen! Thank you for the rec.
This part: “Instead, I appreciate them as a time capsule, a reminder of what I once was. I don’t have any interest in returning, and I don’t have to. I have no choice but to make room for my previous convictions, misguided as they may have been. As much as I’d love to forget sometimes, there are inescapable signs.” 😮💨 As someone with a Bible verse tattoo, this really hits. As complicated as it feels to reckon with my former self, this feels like such a healthy reframe. Thank you, Ayana 💜
Thank you for reading — so glad I'm not the only one. <3
This is really lovely, Ayana. It resonates so much. The butterfly on my foot as a symbol of my being a “new creation in Christ” felt like it would always be timeless. It’s a reflection that we never expect things that feel permanent to change, so making them actually permanent doesn’t feel like much of a stretch. It’s sort of hopeful, though, when I really think about it, to remind myself that this means that the me 10 years from now won’t be the same, either. It’s exciting to daydream about who she might be.
Ah, love your last sentence. Exciting indeed!
I often think about how sure I was of my beliefs when I was a teenager and in my 20s. I often wish for that to be the case now in my early 40s. After reading this, maybe that assuredness is a gift of youth. It helps us foster independence and bravery as we leave home. And maybe nuance is a gift of adulthood as we are learning to be gentle with ourselves and others. Thank you for always making me think 💜