I made like a 10 minute video for a friend last week explaining my thoughts and it’s almost identical to your sentiments here. I had a faith crisis that started in 2016 after the leaked audio and in 2020, that crack lead me to deconstruct because how could i believe in the same God as all these “Christians” who think a rapist and racist is the best person to run a country? How could the “least of us” be thrown to the wolves because they hope cheese is cheaper next year? Anyway, that lead to me reading the Bible front to back. Twice. And somehow I still kept my faith- even though I feel like the only reason I have it is because I don’t know how not to have faith? What do people do when they worry about their children’s safety? For me, it’s always been prayer and I’m not sure my anxiety can get through not having “something” to lessen my stress. Anyway, after this week, I keep saying in my mind: “how can their God and my God be the same one?” What Bible are they reading? And how have they done the mental gymnastics to make it ok for them to lay their head down at night with a clear conscience? I hope I’m making sense but I just want to say: holy shit, I feel the same way. I live in a small, “Christian” town in the south and am surrounded by other Christians who have been gloating all week. I’m just lost….
I made like a 10 minute video for a friend last week explaining my thoughts and it’s almost identical to your sentiments here. I had a faith crisis that started in 2016 after the leaked audio and in 2020, that crack lead me to deconstruct because how could i believe in the same God as all these “Christians” who think a rapist and racist is the best person to run a country? How could the “least of us” be thrown to the wolves because they hope cheese is cheaper next year? Anyway, that lead to me reading the Bible front to back. Twice. And somehow I still kept my faith- even though I feel like the only reason I have it is because I don’t know how not to have faith? What do people do when they worry about their children’s safety? For me, it’s always been prayer and I’m not sure my anxiety can get through not having “something” to lessen my stress. Anyway, after this week, I keep saying in my mind: “how can their God and my God be the same one?” What Bible are they reading? And how have they done the mental gymnastics to make it ok for them to lay their head down at night with a clear conscience? I hope I’m making sense but I just want to say: holy shit, I feel the same way. I live in a small, “Christian” town in the south and am surrounded by other Christians who have been gloating all week. I’m just lost….
Thanks for sharing, Ayana. I, as you’d expect, had a similar experience in my own evangelical megachurch at the time.