“A long time ago, I tied my worth to how other people perceive me, and I’m having a hell of a time undoing that knot.” Damn. Yes. Exactly this. So relatable. Thank you for sharing!
It gave me some perspective (and grace that I reluctantly accepted) about how addictive all of this is. I’ve deleted the IG app off of my phone more times than I can count, and I’m hopeful (but not totally convinced) that actually deactivating my account this week will help me make it stick.
In your post, you wrote, “One day I’ll break this habit…”. Most people don’t break habits of addiction without community. It’s not just willpower (ugh I hate that word). Be kind to yourself - we’re up against a behemoth designed to reel us in and not let us go.
Hey, Ayana. You're perspective is always so valuable and poignant and real. I love reading you here. Here's another perspective. A lot of us who love you so much are spending less time on socials. It's such a soul drag, and to be able to capture a few minutes of joy a day is nice. I can't wait to read your book!
"Perform." That word hit me hard in this article because it is precisely the way I feel. I feel pressured to perform everywhere to promote, promote, promote my books. I'm doing my best to try and put my phone in a timeout spot each day. I'm not perfect, but it has been helping. Like you, when I spend time away from my phone, I physically and emotionally feel better, yet I still come back to it and get sucked in. It's hard!
As someone who relies on IG fully for my income, I feel this fully. The algorithm has tanked some videos recently and it annoys me for days. But then, it has given me a lucrative job with an incredibly flexible schedule to be with my kids more. So I can’t quit. But one day I will and it will be glorious!
“A long time ago, I tied my worth to how other people perceive me, and I’m having a hell of a time undoing that knot.” Damn. Yes. Exactly this. So relatable. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for reading!
Love this and love following you. I just deactivated IG and am trying to do Substack only. It’s hard.
This piece resonated with me this week, especially her response to “Wow. Talk about using the power of Substack for good.”
https://open.substack.com/pub/nymag/p/might-as-well-face-it?r=dhe6p&utm_medium=ios
It gave me some perspective (and grace that I reluctantly accepted) about how addictive all of this is. I’ve deleted the IG app off of my phone more times than I can count, and I’m hopeful (but not totally convinced) that actually deactivating my account this week will help me make it stick.
In your post, you wrote, “One day I’ll break this habit…”. Most people don’t break habits of addiction without community. It’s not just willpower (ugh I hate that word). Be kind to yourself - we’re up against a behemoth designed to reel us in and not let us go.
Loved this read, thank you. I've also deleted the app and crawled back — they make it so hard to stay away.
Hey, Ayana. You're perspective is always so valuable and poignant and real. I love reading you here. Here's another perspective. A lot of us who love you so much are spending less time on socials. It's such a soul drag, and to be able to capture a few minutes of joy a day is nice. I can't wait to read your book!
Such a good point! And amen to a few minutes of joy.
I can’t wait for your book to come out. I love reading your writing. Best part of my day when you publish a piece here!
This is one of the best compliments I've ever received! Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Beautiful article. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Thank you for reading!
“A long time ago, I tied my worth to how other people perceive me, and I’m having a hell of a time undoing that knot.” I feel this. So much.
Ah, thank you Katie! Glad I'm not alone
This.
<3
"Perform." That word hit me hard in this article because it is precisely the way I feel. I feel pressured to perform everywhere to promote, promote, promote my books. I'm doing my best to try and put my phone in a timeout spot each day. I'm not perfect, but it has been helping. Like you, when I spend time away from my phone, I physically and emotionally feel better, yet I still come back to it and get sucked in. It's hard!
As someone who relies on IG fully for my income, I feel this fully. The algorithm has tanked some videos recently and it annoys me for days. But then, it has given me a lucrative job with an incredibly flexible schedule to be with my kids more. So I can’t quit. But one day I will and it will be glorious!